It would be ideal if parents could agree upon child custody and visitation issues without outside intervention. But this is not generally the case, especially in highly contested divorce cases where the spouses' rivalry gets in between their ability to communicate in a civilized manner.
This is the reason why in so many divorce cases the best way to solve custody and visitation issues is by means of mediation. Mediation can be court ordered, in cases when the spouses can't relate, or it can be voluntary, when both parties consent to it. Mediation has proven to be a very successful tool in solving child custody and visitation issues.
The purpose of mediation is to help spouses reach a compromise regarding the care of their children after their divorce. Who are the kids going to live with? Who are the kids going to visit on weekends? Who is going to make the critical decisions regarding the children's healthcare, education and such? Bottom line, mediation is a fancy term for a meeting in which the main objective is to "find a happy medium".
Child custody and visitation mediation can consist of just one meeting or a series of them. These meetings take place before a professional negotiator trained in family law. The parents' attendance is required and so are their attorney's.
If the mediation is court ordered the court will either assign a mediator or request the parents to agree on one. In a voluntary mediation the spouses' attorneys negotiate who is going to act as mediator. Mediation conferences are generally held either at one of the attorney's offices, at the office of another attorney, at the mediator's office and sometimes at the courthouse where the divorce case is pending.
In a court-ordered mediation the parties are subject to the penalties of court contempt if they refuse to participate. In that case they would be subject to a fine, or even incarceration.
Before attending a mediation conference it is suggested that you do some homework. Bring your children's school and medical records. Also, bring the names of your child's healthcare providers, along with information regarding your child's appointments and extracurricular activities. If your child is ten years or older, it might be helpful to have a talk with them before the date of the child custody court-ordered mediation, so that you can voice their preferences or desires regarding who do they want to live with and how often they would like to see the other parent.
Should you and your spouse not be able to reach an agreement on the custody and visitation issues, the court will take over that responsibility and make the decision for you, regardless of what you, your spouse, and your children's preferences are. Mediation is a great tool to avoid a lengthy and expensive custody battle. Make the best use of it.
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For more resources and information on divorce and custody visit: http://www.FreeDivorceLegalHelp.com
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